Avoiding the “Me Monster”

So many people I encounter have the ego and attitude that they know it all – they take counsel from themselves and don’t seek advice of others – they go about it as a lone ranger thinking they have all the answers – they don’t participate in events – don’t attend networking functions – attend trainings or association events.  They are constantly telling and not asking to get inclusion from others or solicit opinions.  Then, when they are so far behind the eight ball with a situation, they reach out to others and demand others help them immediately when they haven’t helped others or participated in the process mentioned above or many others for that matter. 

Why does this occur?  Why is it that people regard themselves as so self important and egotistical that they treat others with disdain?  Are unsupportive of others?  Treat others like others are there to support them but they don’t need to reciprocate even when asked to participate and be included.  Where does the lack of respect factor for others originate?  These are difficult questions to answer, but are critical to answer if you are one of those that incorporate the “me monster”.  These types of individuals have fleeting success – if any at all.  They have very few “true” friends or confidants to rely on.  And lastly, their business is more transactional based versus a business built on relationships and referrals because they don’t have the ability to bond and develop the right type of relationships. 

How do you know if you have fallen into this trap?  One example is, if you find yourself not listening and you talk over people in conversations, especially over the phone.  When in person, take time to notice others reactions and what happens with them when you are speaking.  Do they cross their arms, roll their eyes or look away or is there any other negative body language they exhibit?  If so, stop, apologize for interrupting and listen.  Your voice is music to your ears not theirs – let them speak and you will realize how much their voice is music to their ears and more success will come your way.

The next example is when you enter a room.  Do you make an appearance because you are loud, obnoxious and inconsiderate?  If so, you will push people away.  It is better to walk into a room and be humble yet confident and with a smile than a loud, look at me entrance.  You will be noticed either way but why not be noticed for what you are not rather than what you are acting like?  Remember to notice and acknowledge others when you enter a room and don’t be noticed when entering a room for higher levels of achievement in business.

Next, are you telling others how it is all the time and saying “listen to me”, “no, this is how it is”, or perhaps, “that’s not right, it’s like this” or similar type responses to what people are saying.  Think and listen to yourself and notice how often do you say me, my or I?  If you notice any of these behaviors regularly in your speech patterns, stop.  Have an open mind to what others are saying and reposition yourself by asking if they might consider your ideas or thoughts.  Also, incorporate we and us into your conversations.  By opening yourself to hearing what others say, paying attention to new ideas and refraining from being a know it all, you will engage more people and in the end gaining more influence over them. 

Next, are you a loner?  Do you work at home?  Do you leave your office or just sit behind a desk?  Are you on the computer all day?  You need to reach out to others and participate in office events, trainings, networking opportunities and other platforms where you can learn, meet, and open yourself to new ideas or concepts.  Go in with the attitude of “I know nothing” and be a sponge.  It is well known that if you go into these situations with an open mind, you will get a least one new bit of information you didn’t know before or pick up a new way to improve what you are doing in your business or at least meet one new person that you can bounce ideas off in the future. Have a hunger and desire to learn something – everyday.  Remember, no one knows it all.  Participate in life, communicate with others and better results will follow.

And just a few final thoughts, be nice, be kind, be respectful, and be thankful.  Give first to others, then ask for help.  Show sincere interest in others and they will want to help you in your time of need.  Remember to think it is all about them, not you.  Don’t get engulfed by the all knowing, all telling “Me Monster” and you will achieve greatness.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

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